Since I can remember, I’ve been wearing glasses. Wait, no. That’s a lie. I got my first pair of glasses when I was 8 or 9, in my fourth grade back in elementary school. Up until that point, I had never touched a pair, even though my entire family wears them. I remember talking to my mom about how everything seemed blurry; out of focus and that sometimes, I’d see two of everything and that’s when the headaches would begin. It was after this that my parents finally took me to an optometrist to get my eyes checked and it turned out, I too, much like the rest of my family, needed a pair of my very own glasses.

My first pair were these simple grey oval shaped ones. I still have them lying around in a drawer somewhere. But they were the coolest things ever to me when I was a kid because it had the type of frame that you could bend and twist and it wouldn’t break. That pair lasted me maybe 3 or so years, before I needed to get a new pair. My second pair were classier. A nice dark brown shade with a more rectangular frame, but still the type that you could bend.

The thing about glasses is that I don’t mind them. I know people who’ve said that they’ve been wearing glasses for longer or shorter than I have, and they hate it. They hate the way it leaves those marks on the bridge of your nose, or how sometimes it can make the back or your ears hurt. They hate the weight and everything about them, and how they would much rather have contacts. Truth be told, I hate glasses as well, but for a different reason. But in comparison to contacts, I don’t mind them.

I’ve always had a slight thing against contacts, seeing as how the idea of sticking something into or just in front of your eye has always freaked me out. It just seems weird and no matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to psych myself into wearing them. So for me, it had become glasses or bust. I also hate the idea of laser eye surgery; however minimal, there is still the chance of going blind, and that scares me way more than contacts do.

But the reason as to why I detest glasses. It’s simple, and it’s something that’s been with me since I got my first pair all those years ago. It boils down to the fact that you’re aware that your eyes aren’t what they should be. With contacts, you wear them and you can forget that your eyes aren’t as strong as they should be, because you don’t have to view the world through a frame that sits just outside of your vision. You’re aware of it being there. You can see it. You can feel it, but you can’t do anything about it. It’s there, and it won’t go away. I hate glasses because I feel like what I’m seeing is different from what other people are seeing.  It’s like for a specific part of my spectrum, my vision is crystal clear. But dart your eyes to the side and everything becomes fuzzy. It’s an unsettling feeling to have.

I guess I do have one thing to be grateful for though. I was born with my eyesight intact. I can see, even if it is out of focus all the time when I am not wearing my glasses, but at least I’m not blind.

Another thing; your mother lied. Carrots do not improve your eyesight. They help maintain it.

Why Google's "Real Name" Policy is a Good Thing

Yesterday Google announced a piece of information that frankly, I disagree with. When the company first launched Google+ three years ago, they required all users to use their real names on the platform. They slowly extended this rule outward into their other services like YouTube as they marched forward on their campaign to make Google+ the centre of all things Google.

When I began to think about it more, as the real name policy was something I never really gave much thought to until the announcement, I realized that I actually really liked it, and that's for a number of reasons. Reading through the comments on the official announcement, I could tell that I wasn't alone in that feeling as many other users expressed similar sentiments. The first thought I had was that if I wanted to look up someone, or some information on someone, I could just enter their real name into the search field and find exactly what I was looking for. Before this, and now, I would have to search for their online handle, which often differs across different platforms, making it yet another bit of data I would have to track (much like e-mail addresses). You can change your online handle as much as you want, but not your real name.

The real name policy also helped to create a better web in my mind. When Google first introduced the new comments system on YouTube, largely everyone was pissed, but I was excited. If it meant that forcing a change potentially for the better could help foster actual conversation between people rather than the nonsense we had, I was all for it. And the new comment system actually kind of worked. In the end, it kind of made YouTube comments  a little more tolerable, given that people couldn't necessarily hide behind a false username.

"Before Twitter, texting, and Instagram, Flickr and Tumblr, the weapon of war was a slam book—a spiral notebook with some miserable kid's name written on the cover, passed among frenemies who filled page after page with nasty remarks and devastating criticism. Eventually the book was tossed or lost, and the kid could recover. But with social media, there's no respite, no half-life for rumors and innuendo. On a whim, you can take your target out with the press of a button and sleep soundly. "There is 100 percent a lack of empathy on the Internet. You don't have to deal with the natural consequences of your behavior," says Jamie Howard, PhD, a clinical psychologist at New York's Child Mind Institute. "You say things you wouldn't say, and your conduct is harsher." Empathy develops when we receive cues from in-person interaction—you say something mean to someone, you see her cry, you feel bad. Technology can obstruct empathy's development and foster detachment." Holly Millea, Elle 2014

And that's the problem, the big double edged sword of the online world - anonymity. Personally, whenever and wherever I can, I try and use my real name as my online handle for a number of reasons I find particularly compelling. It lets people know exactly who I am, and it's a uniform, universal handle for myself across Reddit, Twitter Instagram, Google+ etc, making it super easy to keep track of and maintain, (and is one less thing I have to remember myself). The biggest reason, however, is that it helps me control myself online. There have been far too many occasions where I have been ready to reply with something incendiary purely because I was frustrated in the heat of the moment, but then realizing that the Internet is forever, and that it would be forever tied to my name, therefore my offline self, I stopped short. And when I do choose to comment, I remain directly accountable for both my words and actions online, and that is something I have always advocated for - being the same person you are online as you are offline.

However, that's not to say that I don't see the value in remaining anonymous online. There are communities across sites like Reddit and Tumblr, in which people get together because they feel a distinct sense of freedom and safety which they otherwise might not get by using their real names, and in those cases, anonymity is a great tool. However, like everything, it will, and has been, wildly abused. Rather than allowing for the best, most positive interaction, people are rewarded for the most interaction, and that's a distinct problem that the real name policy directly addressed. That's not to say using your real name prevents you from being a total moron - there are plenty of examples everywhere you look.

Personally, I feel like this is largely several huge steps backwards, and is something I wish Google hadn't bent on. However, I wouldn't be surprised if this, at least at some level, had something to do with the ridiculous "Right to be Forgotten" nonsense going on in Europe.

Blood: It's In You To Give

Today was the first time I ever donated blood, and I have to admit, I was slightly scared. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had this irrational fear of needles, which has prevented me (probably for the best really) from getting any piercings or tattoos (of which I really want the latter). When I was in highschool, we had a blood donor clinic every year. They’d stay around for one week to make sure that everyone had a chance to donate, and learn about the process. I was unable to donate then, because I was just so small and perpetually underweight (I was 100 lbs at the age of 14 in grade 9).

This fear of needles mixed with the fear of being turned away from being able to donate was very much present today. Luckily enough, I’ve grown significantly since I was in the ninth grade, and was able to donate without any problems. That took care of one of my fears. The other was the needle. See, in my mind, I was worried that they’d miss my vein and have to keep poking my arm until they got it in, leaving me with multiple holes that bled freely, or that I’d sneeze, the force of which would send out too much blood and I’d pass out and die. As you can tell, I tend to over think things way too much.

But then I met the lady who would be taking my blood, and if it wasn’t for her, this irrational fear wouldn’t have gone away. Her name was Monique, and she was just so kind and calm. She talked me through the entire process of blood donation, from how they would take my blood, and at the hospital, would then decide to use it as a whole, or separate the blood from the platelets and plasma to use independently from one another. She even told me somthing that I never knew before, which was that most people who donate blood are also registed bone marrow donors, as it’s the marrow that helps in the production of the blood and the anti-bodies in the blood that helps to fight off infections and diseases.

She then told me a story of how she was working as an nurse in an emergency room, and this one kid who was only 20 years old at the time, came in with nearly total blood loss. He had been at a party, and another person swung a knife backwards, which had pierced through the skin and severed the femoral artery, one of the major arteries in your entire body. They were unable to place a tourniquet on it, so they had one nurse place her entire body pressure on the kid to prevent further blood loss. When he arrived, they gave him 40 units of blood immediately (O negative, the universal giver) before they could find out what his type was and give him more of that, and as they were about to operate on him, they lost him. They did this three times, and three times he flatlined. Finally, they were able to stablize him, and two weeks later, he walked out of the hospital with his father after thanking the staff that had saved his life profusely.

If it hadn’t been for the people who had donated, he would not have survived even the ride in the ambulance. It’s because we are able to give blood ever two months, with next to no adverse affects to us, that we can indirectly save lives of those who need it. It’s such a simple process, and the benefits completely outweigh the nearly non-existant cons.

They weren’t kidding when they created the slogan, “Blood. It’s in you to give,” because it really is. So, if you are able to, find out when the donor clinic will be in your town next, and please, donate. Who knows, maybe your blood will help save someone else.

Why We Love Origin Stores

“Why is ever superhero movie an origin story?” That is the most common complaint I hear whenever I talk to my friends about superhero films, and recently, has been a question that I’ve been pondering myself.

The question of origins is a fascinating one, and holds a universal and undying appeal. Who are we? Where do we come from? Why are we here? Because as humans we are naturally inquisitive and curious, we keep asking ourselves these questions, often times without any real answer. So, what is the solution we came up with? We make stuff up. The way humankind has answered this question of our origins has often been through the analogy of individual origins. The universe, (uni-verse, meaning one poem) is an individual, only bigger. We imagine stories of great beings creating the universe, fighting for our very souls. That is how mythologies, and superheroes are born, through us wanting to not only understand ourselves, but as a need to better ourselves.

We love origin stories for that very reason, because it shows us the very moment wherein our favourite characters go from being just-like-us, to being better, faster, & stronger. After all, that was the original idea behind Superman, to be the man of tomorrow — a source of endless inspiration. However, whenever we want to set up a new universe for an already established character, we invariably have to go through the steps of how they got to where they are. It’s always the same formula, one of three steps, with one or two minor tweaks to the original story. And despite this, and the numerous times we’ve read and viewed the same origin story, despite know what’s going to happen within a certain degree of accuracy, we still seek that familiar comfort.

Take, for example Superman: Red Son, wherein Supes doesn’t crash land in a Kansas field to be taken into the home of the most enlightened farmers ever created, but instead due to pure chance, in the collective farmland of Ukraine. Rather than fighting for, “truth, justice, and the American way,” Superman becomes the, “Champion of the common worker who fights a never-ending battle for Stalin.” It’s a small change, but the series had to establish the origin of the now Soviet Superman, as that would impact the rest of the character’s life in that altered universe.

The three steps, as mentioned before, are Chance, Trauma, and Destiny.

The most well-known example of chance is Spider-Man, in which Peter Parker is bitten by a radioactive/genetically engineered spider that grants him super powers. Chance shows us how random, adverse events that can happen to any one of us, not just superheroes, such as getting involved in a near-death experience, can cause many of us to take stock of our lives and choose a different path.

The second is trauma, a trope which lies at the heart of Batman’s story. Bruce Wayne dedicates himself to fighting crime after seeing his parents murdered. While he took the most extreme route in terms of dressing up and going after the criminals one-on-one, again, us non-heroes have plenty of examples in which people have gone through stress-induced growth, resolving to help others, such as become social activists.

Lastly, is the idea of destiny. This is where a characters, such as Neo from The Matrix, or Buffy from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, realizes that they are The Chosen One as outlined by some prophecy or other story-telling tool. Often, the characters are reluctant to accept this fate of theirs, but in the end dive into it, assuming a great deal of responsibility that compels them to grow at a faster rate than they want to.

So, why is it that we like origin stories so much? I think it’s because at the end of the day, we identify with one or all of these life-altering forces in some way or another. At some point in our lives, we have all had to, or will have to, assume a great deal of responsilibity, more than we’d like, because of chance, trauma, or, if you buy into the idea, fate. The origin stories, at their core, provide us with a source of inspiration and ways to cope with adversity. They provide us with comfort, because we can identify with what the characters feel and think, as they are a projection of what we wish to be, and what we wish to do. They allow us to find meaning in loss, and let us discover our strengths, so that we too may better the world. We like origin stories because they allow us to tap into one of our own powers; empathy.

My Thoughts on Amazon's Fire Phone

I tuned in late to Amazon's announcement of their first phone, the Fire Phone and from my first, preliminary look, it seems interesting. It has a dedicated camera button, something more phones should have, and free, unlimited, cloud storage. That's absolutely bonkers. It also comes with this tilt/gyroscopic/dynamic perspective, that's basically iOS' parallax effect on steroids. It uses four front facing cameras to detect motion of the phone, and of your head as well, to make the effect of peeking around the corner all that more immersive. However, those two features pale in comparison to the absolute coolest feature; Firefly. It's a service, similar to Google Goggles, SoundHound, Shazam, etc, that detects anything and everything around you, and then let's you buy it. On Amazon of course.

That's where the cool ends, and the not-so-cool begins. Because Amazon opted to run their forked version of Android, Fire OS, there is no access to Google Play, or even apps like Instagram, or even the official Gmail.  While they may be coming soon, the fact that they're currently not there will most likely be a huge deterrent to most buyers. The second aspect that I'm not a fan of is the overwrought UI of the device. It's too glossy, too blocky, and just too much. Having gotten used to the simple minimalism of both Android 4.4.x and iOS 7, the UI of the Fire Phone feels like a step backwards into the dark days of Androig 2.3.x Gingerbread and iOS 1-6. It definitely shows a lot of promise though, so I'm hoping Amazon can clean it up by the time it gets into the hands of the users.

Now, because it's an Amazon device, running a forked version of Android, this will be a huge incentive for everyone who wants to use Android, but doesn't want to be tied down to Google. For those already invested in Amazon's ecosystem, the Fire Phone will be the key device in connecting you to and unifying your experience across all their services, from Kindle, to Fire TV, Amazon Music, and Amazon itself. They've done what Google hasn't been able to with Android & Chrome; create a single, unified experience. Because of this deep integration, I wonder if this will be enough to sway even the most diehard of Windows Phone and BlackBerry fans away from their tiny, non-app, ecosystems.

However, despite already having the pre-order site up and running, you're basically dropping $650 for a decidedly mid-tier spec'd phone that's locked to AT&T, and you'd have to wait at least a month before you'd actually get the phone in your hands. Even if you got it directly from AT&T, you're still dropping $200, which frankly is just too much for a phone in its first generation, with no guarantee of a second version. Remember when Facebook wanted to be the centre of your entire universe, and made two phones with HTC, the ChaCha, and the First? Remember how well they did? I'm not faulting Amazon for wanting to take that risk, but they most likely would've had a better shot as just packaging all of the features built into the phone as an app. Or, better yet, revamp the Amazon app itself and update it to modern UI guidelines, and bake Firefly into it, as that seems to be the main feature of this phone as it is.

TL;DR: Amazon made a phone when they could've just made a single app, and wants you to buy stuff with it.

Canada's Anti-Spam Legislation; redundant, and a headache for everyone

Canada's Federal government passed an Anti-Spam legislation that will go into effect on July 1, 2014. While it may sound great at first, it's really not. If anything, it's a redundant headache for everyone; legislation for the sake of legislation. 

The gist of it is that companies that using email to promote their products and services have to now get express consent from everyone they send out email to, or IM, SMS, or call. However, think about it for a second. If you are already on the emailing list for a particular company, chances are you like what they do/sell, and signed up on your own accord to stay up to date. That's pretty much the exact same thing, no it is the exact same thing as this nonsense piece of legislation. 

Retailers that acquire their emails at the cashier checkout also ask for their customer's consent. It's not as if they are placing a gun to their head, forcing them to hand over their work or personal email addresses. Instead of making the process easier, cashiers now have to ask for the email, ask the customer to read the consent statement, type in the email, and then accept, making an already painfully slow process even slower. The only impact that this will have is far fewer people signing themselves up because it will be easier and quicker to say no than to agree and have to go through that million step process for something that should be incredibly simple. 

The end user has the power to already grant consent and take it away, by giving their email or phone number to whomever they choose, or by simply unsubscribing or not handing over that information. 

If the federal government wanted to pass an effective anti-spam legislation, they should have targeted the ISPs. Before iOS 7 was released, my dad had no way of blocking the spam phone numbers that would call him, and I'm not joking with this number, 17 times a day. I had contacted Rogers, and they wanted to charge him $20/month to block only three phone numbers. The best part is that his cell phone number, the one that was plagued by spam calls, isn't listed anywhere. So, rather than placing the onus on the end user that's constantly under attack, why not make it so that the ISPs have to stop giving out their customers phone numbers to the highest bidder? Why not make it so that the ISPs have to provide a flat rate service in which the customer can block as many calls as s/he wants? Why not make it so that every phone has to have a call blocking feature enabled? Why not do a million other things that would actually benefit users and businesses, rather than making it harder?

Crazy Town 2: Electric Boogaloo (the dumbing down of Canadian politics)

Just under one month ago, I wrote about how Toronto, the city that I call home (even though I live just north of it in the suburbs of Newmarket) has completely lost it’s mind. I talked about how Rob Ford halted his mayoral re-election campaign, and how I had no idea who to vote for in the upcoming provincial election. However, over the last 22 days, I’ve had some time to reflect on something that has been particularly troubling to me.

When I lived in Etobicoke for 16 years, I knew who the candidates were, and more or less what they stood for in their platforms. They would hold rallies, do door-to-door canvassing with their constituent volunteers, and were annoying enough to call my house when I was trying to have a peaceful dinner with my family. Sure, they only really showed their faces whenever their jobs were on the line, but at least they put in the bare minimum requirement for me to say, “Okay, sure, yeah you can have my vote.”

However, that all changed when I moved up to Newmarket. Most people think that it’s incredibly far away, and if you use Toronto as a starting point, it’s no farther away than Pickering. Frankly, it actually feels closer, but that’s besides the point. In Newmarket, all the candidates have done are put up signs telling people to vote for them, so that they can either keep their job, or be hired for the first time. The problem here is that all I can see is a see of red and blue, with some orange and keep here and there, but the names don’t stand out to me. The candidates have yet to even do the bare minimum to get my vote. They haven’t held rallies, haven’t canvassed door-to-door with their constituent volunteers, and I thought I’d never say this, but I miss their annoying dinnertime phone calls to tell me about their platform and why I should vote for them. It’s a problem so much so that I had to search for the names. Yes, when it comes to politics, I should be involved and do my own research supplementary to what the people who want to be elected are telling me, but when the candidates aren’t even doing that much, I take issue with that.

If the candidates aren’t willing to put in any effort now, then chances are they won’t put in any effort when in office.

Gone are the days of inspiring, if polarizing, leaders like Tommy Douglas, Pierre Trudeau, and Jean Chrétien, and now are the days of hapless fecks like Tim Hudak, Justin Trudeau, and Andrea Horwath.

But that’s not even the biggest problem. The biggest problem that we face as a province, and country as whole, is that we have lackluster, non-charismatic politicians that pander to every possible audience just to get votes, saying one thing to one group and something contradictory to another. It’s become our culture to sigh, and say, “well at least my candidate isn’t nearly as bad as your candidate is,” or that, “s/he’s the lesser of the evils we have to pick from.” Why, and how, has that become the state of Canadian politics? How is it that the only time a politician places ads on TV it’s to attack their opponant in the race to re-election? How is it that we can even consider electing someone who’s math is so horrible, he thinks that cutting 100,000 jobs will create one million.


I’ll tell you how. It’s because we’ve dumbed down politics to historic lows. Think about this for a second. John Tory, the former Conservative heavyweight, is running against Olivia Chow (who’s only claim to fame, much like Justin Trudeau’s, is that she’s a family member, in her case a widow, or a famous federal level politician). The man running his campaign is the person that helped Toronto Mayor, Rob Ford, get elected using the simple slogan of wanting to “Stop The Gravy Train.” It’s simple, but in actuality, it meant nothing, except for playing into the hearts of those who were tired of David Miller’s antics as Mayor. The same thing happened when the Conservatives beat out the Liberals in the 2006 federal election, by using the sponsorship scandal to sow the seeds of doubt into even the most ardent of liberals.

Politics has become a game of who can seem like they’re the most relatable to the “common folk.” Look at Rob Ford’s campaign. It was all about getting the vote of those who have always voted for conservative values, for the “simple minded, non-elitist” group of people out there. The issue with that is that yes, politicians should be relatable, and we should be able to take comfort in the fact that they too are humans and not heartless killbots, but we should also hold them to a higher standard. Gone are the days of inspiring, if polarizing, leaders like Tommy DouglasPierre Trudeau, and Jean Chrétien, and now are the days of hapless fecks like Tim HudakJustin Trudeau, and Andrea Horwath. Gone are the days when you actually votefor someone, rather than against someone else.

We should hold these politicians, and the leaders of our cities, provinces, and country, to a higher standard, and they should too as well. They should inspire us to reach ever higher, rather than being brought down to the lowest denominator. They should make us want to vote for them, by having platforms based on real issues, not attack ads and the ever present issue of cutting taxes. We should have politicians who aren’t afraid of doing things that will end their political careers, as long as it means helping the public at large for generations to come.

But we don’t, instead we have a system of having to choose the lesser of the evils with incredibly weak platforms. We have a system we pander to every possible audience, watering down any and all effective change for a few votes, and to me, that’s an incredibly sad state to be in.

I don’t know. I’m probably being overly hopeful, overly optimistic, but what I do know is that we need a change of politicians who talk less and act more.

Why Apple Buying Beats Makes Sense

It looks like there rumor of Apple purchasing Beats that was floating around yesterday was confirmed by Tyrese Gibson and Dre himself in an expletive laden video posted to Facebook. I'm slightly worried because that totally worked out for HTC during their partnership. Buying Beats to get into music is like if Apple bought Starbucks to get into coffee: low quality product with an insanely high profit margin based purely on the popularity of the brand name.

It seems that whoever buys out or partners with Beats is doomed to fail almost immediately. AT&T, HP, HTC, and next, Apple, verifying the unpopular opinion that they are indeed in a rapid downward spiral, and while I dislike Beats for the simple reason of it not being high-quality audio for it's absurd price-point, I can see why Apple would want to buy them for a few reasons.

The first being that there Beats logo and flat wire headphones have replaced Apple's white earbuds as a sort of status symbol. No longer is it just enough to have an iPhone. You need to have an iPhone AND Beats. Think about it. Apple is all about image. Beats is all about image. People who buy either product are all about image. From a business standpoint, and financial, it makes perfect sense for Apple to acquire Beats, even if the product that they are buying doesn't make sense for a consumer to own, especially when compared to similar products from competitors that are significantly better for audiophiles, and at a much cheaper and affordable price point. Then again, Apple has never focused on affordable price points, so regardless, this is a perfect move for Apple that makes sense.

Secondly, iTunes Match and iTunes Radio, much like their predecessor, iTunes Ping, have been considered radical disappointments in the music streaming industry. Whatever is it, Apple can't seem to build their own music service to match, let alone compete, with the likes of Pandora, Rdio, and Spotify. Having Beats and Beats Music onboard would certainly help, especially if they were to merge it directly into iTunes. Trying to find new music on iTunes is an awful experience, something that Spotify excels at. The other big problem is that with Apple, your music is more or less locked in, with no way or transferring it to other platforms. Spotify alleviates that, by letting you switch from iOS to Android and back, because it's all in the cloud. If Apple were to release a version of iTunes for Android like it did Windows, with Beats Music baked in to help you discover new music, I think Spotify, and similar competitors, would have serious reason to worry.

The final reason is that the iPod and Apple's entrance into music is what saved them from total failure the last time. It makes sense that Apple would want to take the lessons they learned then and re-apply them now, to keep up with the ever changing demands of the music industry. People want options, and I think Apple is finally about to give them a viable one.

EDIT: The Apple/Beats acquisition has been confirmed today (May 28, 2014). Read more here.

Crazy Town (Or How Ontario Lost Its Mind)

My home province of Ontario, has completely lost its mind over the last 48 hours. Let’s break it down, shall we?

The mayor of Toronto, Canada’s largest city, Rob Ford, in the midst of his re-election campaign was once again filmed smoking what looks to either be marijuana or crack cocaine. Finally, he admitted to having a substance abuse problem and put a stop to both his re-election campaign and what little was left of his mayoral duties. While I am glad that he is seeking help, all I am left with is praying to all that is holy that Giorgio Mammoliti does not decide to run for Mayor, as he is basically Rob Ford Lite. And this is a direct comparison to a man who has been publicly intoxicatedmade lewd remarks about several womenthreatened his staff, and has driven drunk, and still has yet to be charged with anything by the police.

Crazier still is that Robyn Doolittle, the person who arguably has controlled the entire story behind Rob Ford since first breaking the news of him smoking crack cocaine in May 2013, left the Toronto Star and joined the Globe & Mail, taking with her, the Rob Ford story. This led to the her new home purchasing stills from that new video of Ford clearly smoking something for around $10,000…from known drug dealers. What makes this even more hilarious? The Toronto Star having to print a screenshot of the Gawker website to avoid the Globe & Mail watermarks.

And that brings us to today, where the NDP government, headed by Andrea Horwath, rejected the proposed Liberal budget. What baffles me about this is that Kathleen Wynne’s proposed budget for 2014 was designed in such a way that Horwath would have nothing negative to say against it, as it was very much an NDP budget. Yet, Horwath, decided to vote it down, propelling Ontario towards a June election, did not have much to say against the budget, but rather pointed towards the scandals that Wynne inherited from her predecessor, Dalton McGuinty, as the main talking points against Wynne.

So now we have a scandal plagued minority Liberal Premier, an NDP leader with no clear plan who’s blasting the Liberals for having a plan, and a PC leader, Hudak, who barely has support from within his own party and says absolutely crazy things on a regular basis (while wanting to cut 100,000 civil worker jobs including firefighters, EMS, meat inspectors, and sustainable energy initiatives, to create one million jobs over eight years. The math speaks for itself). While Wynne may not be perfect, she’s by far the lesser of the three evils. She assumed power a little over a year ago, and to claim that her provincial government is the worst in Ontario’s history is egregious at best. Let’s not forget Mike Harris and his PCs who killed off the Eglington West Subway in 1995, spending $40 million to fill in the already dug out tunnels, and killing close to 35,000 jobs.

What’s scares me the most is that for the first time since I became eligible to vote, I don’t know who the best choice is. I know the lesser of the evils, but is that really the best that we as a nation can produce; a collection of politicians with no human connection — who simply pander to accumulate votes? With both provincial and municipal level elections in 2014, what happens next in Ontario is going to be extremely interesting to watch.

Searching for Jobs (and the Problem with the Current Education System)

Ever since I graduated from university a year ago, with my degree in Environmental Studies, or more specifically, Environmental Politics, I’ve been stuck in a routine of wake-up, go to my part-time retail job, come home, apply for jobs (if I have the energy), and sleep. What scares me the most, however, isn’t the fact that it’s been a year and I really have nothing to show for it, but rather the toll that it’s starting to take on my psyche. While normally I’m a fairly happy and mellow person, I’ve been finding that the more I talk to my friends the more I say things along the lines of, “searching for decent paying, non-retail jobs has to be the single most demoralizing activity in the world.”

When we were growing up, we were an extremely privileged generation riding along the coattails of the greatest economic boom in recorded history, and to an extent, we still are. We were told that specialization was no longer the key, that we needed to be more rounded out, so we took up soccer and tennis and swimming and volunteered, because without that cultural grounding, we’d be laughed out of the job we wanted and would have to apply elsewhere — somewhere second rate. The problem with this is two-fold. First, we’ve burnt ourselves out doing everything we can to create a mile-long resume that says nothing of who we are as people, and secondly, the first rate positions are no longer hiring and the second rate companies have gone bankrupt.

It’s easy to point fingers, blame others for being accepted because the fit the role of being ethnically diverse, but that’s not it at all. The problem lies within our education system. The cost of getting a formal education in Canada is about $27,500 for a four year program (and is slowly rising), which pales in comparison to America, which ranges anywhere from $27,000 to $60,000 per year. It makes obtaining a formal education a seemingly unreachable goal financially. f every student could, I’m sure that they’d declare bankruptcy if it would allow them to wipe their debt away and start fresh.

“A bachelor’s degree is the new high school diploma.” — NY Times

We’re an incredibly capable generation of students, eager to learn and studying everything from English to Psychology, partly because we can, and partly because we wanted to be well-rounded heirs to the economic throne. Maybe it’s the over-abundance of choice that prevents us from being able to settle into any one field, for the fear of feeling stuck in something you don’t like, or maybe it’s the fact that while we live in the 21st century, our educational system is stuck, preparing us for the century past. Rather than giving us the tools to be successful in the age of the internet, universities are more concerned with their profit and rankings amongst each other, making it ever harder to find even the most basic of entry-level positions in 2014.

I’ve spent much of the last year searching for jobs, applying for just about any position that’s open, and I’ve had a few callbacks, but nothing successful. They all require a one year commitment with no guaranteed hours or pay, nor a guarantee that they’ll keep you on past the one-year contract, all as an entry level casual worker/intern. Perhaps it’s my approach and mindset to this that’s preventing me from finding that a semi-decent paying, non-retail position job I so badly want, or perhaps it’s not know where exactly my heart lies. Whatever it is, I’m beginning to feel demoralized, and I’m not exactly sure when that will change for the better, but I hope it’s soon.

The Problems with Social Media

A few days ago, a 14 year old Dutch girl identified only as “Sarah” sent out a tweet to American Airlines.

“hello my name’s Ibrahim and I’m from Afghanistan. I’m part of Al Qaida and on June 1st I’m gonna do something really big bye,” — @bizzledemetriax

The internet caught wind of this latest round of online idiocy, and it spread like wild-fire. Within a matter of time, that tweet garnered over 2000 retweets, even a response from American Airlines, saying that they had reported her tweet and IP address to the authorities. This spurned a serious of replies from “Sarah” back at American Airlines, saying she was joking, sorry, and that she was so scared.

Yesterday, she was arrested by Rotterdam authorities, with an investigation pending.

This leads us to today, where now dozens upon dozens of teenagers are following in “Sarah’s” footsteps by tweeting more bomb-threats at American Airlines (likely in retaliation for arresting the Dutch teen), and bizarrely, Southwest Airlines — a completely unrelated airline.

While Sarah may have just been spouting off the idiotic thoughts that came to her head, like many teenagers before her, the fact of the matter is that she did so on a public, nay, international, platform. She many have genuinely not known that she would cause trouble, and that an airline as big as American, would take it seriously, because y’know, bomb threats. When the lives of their passengers are at stake, the airline has to do everything in their power to prevent anything from happening, even if the threat turns out to be fake. Her copycats, however, know exactly what they are doing, and I hope that they too realize soon how unfunny it all really is.

Social media is amazing. It lets me connect and contact some of my favourite people I otherwise would have absolutely no access to, and have conversations with them. It allows disgruntled people to voice their opinions about companies, letting their public voice enact some sort of positive change. It lets me, sitting at home, get real-time updates about the situations going on all over the world. It lets important people reach out to the masses to talk about things that matter to them; to spur conversation in an effort to help better the world. The downside is that it lets everyone think that what they have to say is important, even if 99% of the time it’s just verbal diarrhoea turned into digital text.

The problem, however, lies in the fact that it creates a sort of disconnect, in that people do not associate their online persona’s with their real-life selves. They think that just because they hide behind an online handle, they can get away with anything, because the online world is different from that of the real world, and that doing something online cannot have consequences offline. That is entirely untrue, as seen in the case with “Sarah”, and something that more people need to realize.

And that’s the issue with having everything instant — there’s no longer any time to sit and think about what you want to say. You see something, react, and post said reaction, and then move onto the next thing. We’ve become addicted to this, and go crazy inside until we get it out of our system in a way that the whole world can know.

Don’t get me wrong, I love social media and think that it’s a great tool when used properly, but when idiots get a hold of it and use it to spew their idiocies across the web for the rest of us, it ruins it for the rest of us.

Perhaps arresting “Sarah” was the right thing to do. She’s no longer a child, but is not quite yet an adult either, but she also needs to learn a lesson, and be used as an example of what not to do.

People like to say that this newest generation is going downhill, and there are many instances where I’d normally like to disagree, but in this case, I simply cannot. I’m frankly quite scared for when these maladjusted teens grow up and have to face the real world with real consequences.

Mobile Photography, and Why I Love It

I love taking pictures.

Ever since I was a kid, my entire family has been all about capturing moments in time through photography. It didn’t matter if we were making a stupid face or if there was too much flash. What mattered was that the moment was captured for us to relive at a future date.

When Instagram first came out, I was skeptical. I didn’t see the need for yet another social site that only shared photos, when I had Twitter, and its image hosting site, Twitpic. Yet, when it was finally released for Android, I immediately downloaded it, and then never used it.

I used to have a bad habit of doing that. Signing up or downloading the latest app or social platform, and then never using it because I am so comfortable with what I currently have. I finally decided to give Instagram a try close to two years ago, and my life immediately changed.

I was hooked.

At first, the site was populated by overly processed images of food, celebrities, and yourself, and to a certain degree, it’s still very much like that (if you go to the Explore page). There weren’t high-quality images like the ones you’d see on Flickr or 500px anywhere, but that wasn’t the point. Initially, it wasn’t about the pictures, it was simply about the sharing.

When I first started to use Instagram though, the platform was going through a bit of a shift. I started to follow people I didn’t know, and saw that they were posting insanely high-quality images. I instantly thought that they were using a DSLR, which is cheating and circumventing the instant-sharing aspect of the platform, but I was okay with it because the images were phenomenal. What blew me away was the fact that there were people out there using nothing more than the tiny digital cameras on the backs of their phones to take beautiful photographs.

I snapped this photo in a Tim Hortons Drive-Thru in December 2013.

I snapped this photo in a Tim Hortons Drive-Thru in December 2013.

And I suppose that’s why I like the idea of mobile photography so much. It’s instant. You take what you see, and you share it. The best part about it is that you can post whenever, from wherever. While Twitter is relegated mostly to text and links, and Facebook and Google+ are meandering, trying to find their way back home, Instagram is pure. There isn't the social obligation to follow all of your friends, but rather, you get to follow all sorts of interesting people from all over the world.

As film-maker Casey Neistat said in his 2012 YouTube film,

“The magic of Instagram is that you get to peer into the lives of really interesting people.”

However, given the chance to help change and improve the platform and ideas behind mobile photography, these are the two things I’d love to change:

We know what your face looks like. There no reason to have a wall of JUST your face. Instagram, and mobile photography in general, is all about sharing the world around you. Leave the selfies to other sites like Facebook.

Go easy with the hashtags, or at the very least, make the relevant to the image. If your posting a picture of a sunset, there’s no need to have the hashtag #ootd just to get views and likes. That dilutes what makes Instagram so good.

Instagram has become all about sharing stories through high-quality photographs. It’s given me the chance to explore the world through the eyes of people I both know and do not know, and has pushed me to take more creative and inspiring photographs. What I find most interesting, however, is how you can tell how much a person has changed just by looking at their photographs, and what they choose to share.

Stay Focused

What would you do if you weren’t so afraid? What would I do?

I’d read.

Right now, as I try and type this out, I’m stuck in an endless loop of Gmail, Twitter, and Reddit. As soon as I get bored of something, I fireup either the webpage or app (depending on how close I am to my computer) and browse until I get bored again. And then I move onto the next one, and the next one. As I try and write this, I’m already thinking of finding the next big post to up-vote, or the next message to read and reply to. I’m stuck in this endless feedback loop of constantly being connected, and there’s a serious problem with that.

When I was younger, I could read a book for hours on end. I have a distinct memory of being sick when the fifth Harry Potter book was released, and finishing that in two days. Granted, the typeface was massive, but it still felt good; like I had accomplished something. I was hooked. Now that I’m older, reading has been replaced, not entirely, but replaced nonetheless with movies and podcasts. I have a love/hate relationship with Netflix and Pocket Casts.

That doesn’t mean I’ve stopped reading entirely. Oh no. At the start of 2014, Pocket, formerly read-it-later, a service in which you save articles offline to read later, sent me my stats for 2013. I honestly didn’t even know they were keeping track of such a thing, but they were.

Now, at first glance, even I was impressed, but I started to look at it again and realized that if I were to have taken on the 52 books in a year challenge in 2013, purely using my Pocket stats, I would’ve fallen short by 19 books. That’s a substantial number.

Since January, I’ve bought 14 books, of which I’m only partly through the second. They’re sitting on my shelf, collecting dust, as I browse the internet searching for the next rush of adrenaline.

So what’s the problem? The only obvious answer that I can think of is that we as a culture have lost some of our ability to stay focused. I know I have. We’re constantly on the search for the next viral hit to share with our friends, in order to say, “yes, I am in the loop.” We live in a culture that perpetuates sharing experiences with one another, whether it’s face-to-face or through a screen, and we live our lives with the distinct fear of missing out on that.

And how can we fix this pervasive issue? By achieving a sense of balance. Find something to read for 30 minutes a day. It doesn’t have to be anything major like a literary opera, but something simple like the newspaper. We aren’t going to stop using these apps that give us a sense of immense satisfaction-they’re fun, and they connect us to the world around us-but we need to find a sense of balance.

Reading involves more than just sitting down and scanning your eyes across groups of words. It requires you to focus, to think about what the author meant, and it uses your imagination to take you to wonderous places that no movie or radio program could ever hope to. Reading is an incredibly cathartic experience. It’s scary, but having time to yourself where you can disconnect, is important. It does wonders.

So, what am I going to do?

I’m going to read.

Talking To Strangers

I met a very interesting lady while I was at work today.

Being a part-time employee in a retail environment, it’s sometimes hard not to feel the soul-crushing weight of your university degree bearing down on you while you toil away earning just over minimum wage. The thing with that is that there is always a silver lining. Things can always be worse, but just as easily, they can also be better.

The great thing, and I suppose the only satisfaction that I get from this part-time retail job of mine is that I get to meet some really interesting people. Take, for instance, this lady that I met today. I was cashing her out, and asked if she required a gift receipt. She politely told me no, saying that the were going with her to South Africa. That statement alone was enough to spark what ended up being a 30 minute conversation between us. I use conversation lightly, as it was mostly her talking and I listening.

She told me that she still had some family in South Africa, but that she was of European origin. When she was maybe 12 years old, having been born on the East German side of the Iron Curtain, her family decided that they needed to escape. Fleeing in the middle of the night with only a few possessions, they managed to make it all the way to South Africa; the farthest that they could get from where they were running from. Having finished both her secondary and post-secondary education in South Africa, she decided that she wanted to travel, and go back to Europe.

Wandering around Berlin, after the Wall was destroyed, she realized that she loved the north. The cold agreed with her, and she found an intrinsic beauty in it. She spent the majority of her twenties travelling, ending up in Edinburgh, before she decided that in order to really understand and know the north, she needed to come to Canada. She first landed in Montreal (with two tiny suitcases), then Ottawa, and finally, Toronto. It was a year later that she met a person who would later become her life-long partner, and travel buddy.

Before they got married, she made him promise that they would travel across Canada’s northern Territories, and they did just that. They spent close to half a decade travelling up there, taking it all in, before coming back, and settling down.

Being a recent university graduate who’s finding it increasingly hard to find any real opportunities, the idea of travelling has become more and more appealing to me. It wasn’t really until I heard her story that it sunk in; there really is a whole world out there just waiting to be discovered by my relatively fresh pair of eyes. I’ve been across most of Western Europe, South Asia and Eastern Canada, but never by myself. I’ve never really been on an adventure like that, and while the early portion of hers was forced upon her, it helped to foster a love of travel and a love of the north.

I think that what can be taken from her story is that it never hurts to talk to people you may not know. You can only gain something from their experience, or even, inexperience. I cannot describe how it felt to stand there and listen to her talk; it was simply amazing. It didn’t hurt that she made the soul-crushing experience of working in retail feel like nothing, and that I, at the ripe old age of 22, can do anything I set my mind to.

I just wish that I had thought to get her name. Hindsight is 20/20, after all.

100 Days Until I End A 6 Year Relationship (With My Phone Carrier)

Today, after I got home from my shift at work, I noticed a small package from TELUS, my current phone service provider. Normally, it’s just my monthly phone bill in the mail, or what they call TELUS Perks; small gifts such as movie passes or a charitable donation in your name. Today, however, it was something different.

Seeing this made me really excited.


I’ve been with TELUS for nearly 6 years now. It’s my longest relationship with anything ever. My first phone was a Motorola RAZR V3C, and my second, and current phone, is my HTC Desire. Yes, the original Desire, the one that shipped with Android 2.1 Eclair and never officially received any Android 2.3 update. But that’s besides the point. Well, not really, because since I was with TELUS, and my particular plan was that I’d have a credit spending limit of $200 (meaning I wouldn’t have to pay my phone bills until I hit that dollar amount), I couldn’t upgrade without jumping through a number of insane hoops. First, I’d have to pay off the remaining balance of my device, which is $10/month for however many months I had left. Then, I’d have to pay my $200 to get off that credit spending limit program I was on, and then to top it all off, a $275 cancellation fee. So it could eventually come close to $700 before I could even do anything else.

In case you can’t read the text in that image, the booklet basically says that I am currently eligible for a phone upgrade and they’ll make it easy for me to do so by:

  1. Waiving my device balance (the $10/month and the $200 credit limit program would be gone)
  2. Offering special discounts on select phones so I can save more
  3. Giving me access to the hottest phone at the best in-market prices

Naturally, this got me pretty excited, seeing as despite the fact that my 3-year old phone with 512 MB RAM/ROM is running Android 4.2.2 fairly well, I desperately need a new phone as a daily driver. I flipped the page over and saw the phone that they were offering me:

Seeing the three phones that they were offering me immediately bummed me out.

The Samsung Galaxy Ace Q, The BlackBerry Curve 9320, or the Nokia Lumia 620, all phone, maybe with the exception of the Lumia 620 (which is a Windows Phone 8 device, thus, has no app ecosystem), that are lower spec’d than my current device. Why on earth would I want to pay $25 to buy a phone that is arguable far worse than what I am currently working with?

But, to make sure that I wasn’t being stupid and missing anything in this sparsely detailed booklet, I called TELUS customer support, and they clarified that yes, those were the only three phones I could “upgrade” to at the $25 price point. If I wanted, say the Nexus 4, I’d pay $30, or if I wanted the HTC One or Samsung Galaxy S4, I’d pay approximately $180, the current subsidized cost of those devices. The real kicker was that I’d be locked into another 2 year contract, with a ridiculous monthly rate plan of a base $55/month with unlimited calling and texting and 250 MB of data. For another $8 per service, I could tack on Caller ID, Voice Mail, Call Waiting and Conference Calling. The only one I’d require are the first two, a $16 additional charge.

Then, because 250 MB of data is nothing, for another $30/month, I could tack on another, wait for it, another whole 750 MB of data. $30 for 750 MB?! TELUS, you have to be kidding me. Again, this is if I went with the cheapest phone out of the best that they can offer me.

That brings the total charges per month on a new two year contract to around $100/month, more than my current $80/month with unlimited texting, 300 minutes of calling, Call Waiting, Conference Calling, Voice Mail, Caller ID, and 1 GB of data. So with spending more, I’d be getting less than I currently have with my now grandfathered rate plan.

I decided to shop around a bit more, and looked at Rogers, the next best bet. The plans are relatively the same, but for another $150/month, you can bump you 250 MB of data to 20 GB. 20 GB for $150? The numbers seemed skewed to me, and they are. For home internet plans, you can roughly get 1 GB of data for $1, if you’re at the 80 GB data cap with Rogers or Bell.

It gets even better.

I then wanted to know why they charge so much per text message, $0.20/text. The customer services client told me it’s because of the infrastructure charges and the cost to actually send such a large file over the airwaves. That, is not true. The most a text message will ever come to in size is 160 kb. Even for your 5-6 pagers, they get split up, which is why the person who receives them receives 5-6 texts from you, even if it doesn’t look like that on your end. So that cost per text argument is frankly total bull.

To end the phone call with the customer services client, a woefully ignorant lady who kept having to refer to her manager on duty for basic questions such as, “how much longer do I have until my contract is over?” To answer that question, it is 100 days, as of writing this.

So, this was in essence, a horribly long-winded way of basically saying that the big three Canadian telecommunications companies are no longer economically viable for someone like me, a recent university graduate in their early 20s. It’s no wonder why so many people my age really want Verizon, the largest American telecommunications and phone service provider, to come and enter the Canadian market. It’s no wonder why almost everyone that I talk to is so bitter with Rogers, Bell, and TELUS, as well as their respective subsidiary companies, Koodo, Virgin, and Fido. It’s no wonder why so many more people, including me, want to jump ship to companies like WIND Mobile as soon as they are able to, and it’s no wonder why you will not be getting my money ever again.

We, as the consumer, want, and demand better choice that’s actually affordable. Paying over $100 a month for a phone service is ridiculous, and needs to stop. The big three have had their chance, in fact, many, chances, to change their practices and give the consumers what we’ve all been clamouring for since we all clued into what was going on.

The good news is that I only have 100 days left in my six year long, monetarily abusive relationship, with TELUS. 100 very long days until I can finally begin voting with my wallet.

Until then, I only have one last thing to say, and that is a big screw you to TELUS.

I wrote a letter to the editor of the Toronto Star regarding this issue. You can read it here.

Letters to Editor: More Options for Canadians

Re: Canada doesn’t need fourth wireless carrier, says Rogers CEO Nadir Mohamed, Business, July 24

Canada doesn’t need fourth wireless carrier, says Rogers CEO Nadir Mohamed, Business, July 24

Bell recently published a two-page ad bemoaning the entry of Verizon into Canada’s mobile market, stating that it would hurt the consumer in the end. Frankly, I no longer feel any sympathy for the Big Three, as they have had, and lost, multiple chances at creating a fair and open market for the consumer, as well as newer and smaller companies. Both Bell and Rogers claim to have our best interests at heart, but really, they are scared stiff that they will have to compete in an open market against Verizon, the one company that could actually help create the market Canadians have been longing for this entire time.

The ideal, truly competitive market would be one where we would have five major carriers, Rogers, Bell, Telus, Wind and Verizon, and their subsidiaries, Fido, Virgin, Koodo and Mobilicity, as well as the provincial options such as Videotron. This would ensure that Canadians have the best possible options to choose from because, after all, competition spurs innovation.

Note: This originally appeared in the Toronto Star's Letters to the Editor Section on July 29th, 2013. You can find a link to that post here.

(dis)Connection Is Awesome

Recently, I had a conversation with one of my close friends. I had sent her a link, and asked her opinion on the subject matter. Her response was, “I’ll be the first to admit that I’m ignorant to more than 50% of what the Internet has to offer. I prefer tangible things, and fresh air, and books.” Her response got me thinking, and while I agree with her position, albeit to a very minor extent, I offered up my position in that the Internet is actually a very awesome place, and is very much so tangible.

Something doesn’t necessarily need to trigger a direct response from your senses for it to be tangible. For something to be tangible, it should have a real, lasting effect on the world around us. For instance, look at Google. In their 2013 I/O conference back in May, they spent a portion of their time discussing their Google Maps platform. In short, they said that by giving the tools to countries in which their physical maps were horribly outdated, the users were then able to create real world, real time, and editable maps that were far more accurate than the ones they had. That had a real, tangible, and lasting effect on those people and those countries.

You can watch the Maps portion of Google I/O 2013 here.

My friend further argued that the Internet, due to it’s status as a man-made creation, is not natural, and will lead to our demise as it allows for us to communicate through an instant medium, even though we are thousands of kilometres away. She also stated that we are being pushed farther away from what we once were, in that we no longer actively seek the physical, but rather are far more content in the virtual, as we seek out and build new friendships via Facebook and Twitter. She summed her argument up by saying that, “we forget that absence makes the heart grow fonder due to this instant world that we live in. That we’re so caught up in our phones, social media, and our laptop,s that we forget to stay and take a moment to process the information we are in taking in order to create an educated opinion. It’s addictive. And all emotion and sense of peace and stillness is lost while doing so.”

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not claiming that the Internet is absolutely perfect. I agree with my friend when she says that it’s a volatile place in a state of constant flux. It’s far from perfect, but so are we. However, using my friends logic, most of what we enjoy in this world is not natural, due to its status as a man-made creation. Books are included in this, as they too allow for the transmission of ideas from one person to another despite them being separated by thousands of kilometres. Where the Internet excels at is the sharing of ideas; it’s an amazing tool for discovering new ideas like none we’ve ever known before. All that the Internet is doing is cutting down on the amount of time it used to take us.

However, this is where I get to the part where I agree with my friend (to an extent). She does have a point in that there is a whole new generation of kids who don’t have the proper tools to actually meet new people outside in the real world (real being used in the sense as outside of the Internet). We are so caught up in following celebrities and sharing our every thought and emotion, that we forget that when we type out “lol”, we are no longer actually going through with the act of emoting.

Think of it this way. How many times have you personally had a panic attack when you’ve forgotten your phone somewhere, only to feel that sense of relief when you realize it’s in your other pocket. We can no longer go through a meal without constantly checking our phones, and there are even tips and tutorials on how to get by and handle without being connected. You can no longer go to a concert without seeing a see a tiny glowing screens and behind them, their owners craning their necks to view the musician through the tiny glowing screen.

The Internet is an awesome place to discover and connect with people along similar lines of interest. It’s a great place to share new ideas, and get feedback, and to educate yourself. That being said, it shouldn’t completely take over your life. Every once in a while, unplug yourself, and take in the world around you simply for what it is, and let your imagination run wild and think about what it could be.

The Internet is awesome, but sometimes it’s also awesome to just disconnect.


I’ve always wondered why things sound better when smoking a cigar, or why we get a sudden rush of our seemingly best ideas late at night, and I think I’ve finally found the answer: it’s when we are at our most relaxed that our mind is free to wander and think outside the proverbial box.

Think about it this way; cigars take time to smoke, unlike smoking a cigarette, which is rushed and filled with anxiety to get that next fix of nicotine. With cigars, you’re able to relax, sit back and think, and it’s only when you have that time to let your mind wander freely that you are open to new ideas and concepts that were once foreign and strange to us. For me, personally, I find that the same premise can be applied to mundane tasks, because those almost always require zero brain-power; our bodies are on auto-pilot and we’re able to go off into our own distraction free world where any random thought can be explored fully.

When it comes down to it, it is the imagination’s ability to wander that births good ideas, and it us up to us to simply embrace this.

Something Left To Give

If there’s one thing that I’ve realized about wanting to become a writer is that my heart and my mind has become divided between my many selves.

When I first started writing nearly four years ago, I wanted to stand apart from the rest of the aspiring writers. I aimed to add bits and pieces of my own life, experiences, and thought processes into the works that I had created in order to make the settings seem all that more believable and the characters people that I, and whoever found and read my pieces, could relate to in some small way. However, over the years, the characters that I have fleshed out via words have become as much a part of my personal being as much as I have become a part of their imagined beings.

I guess what I’m trying to get at is that everything is connected in some small way, and if you can’t get anything out of whatever it is that you’re doing, then no one else will ever be able to.

The Fear Of Being Alone

What I’ve always wondered is why people are so damn terrified of telling the person that they care for, that they care for them. Romantic comedies and perpetuated this fad wherein person A likes/loves person B, yet cannot tell person B for whatever reason. Person A then goes around telling everyone else this new addition to her life, all the while, not telling person B that he/she likes/love him/her. It makes no sense to me.

I suppose it has to do with the fear of rejection, mixed with the want to feel validated. For instance, let’s say I like a certain musical artist, and you don’t. Nine times out of ten, I will most likely say, “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU YOU’RE INSANE THEY’RE THE BEST BAND EVER!” I noticed this about myself, and others, when a good friend of mine told me that he did not like bacon, while another said that he did not enjoy sushi. We seek that sense of validation from others so that we don’t feel alone in our life choices, so that we can justify our actions as other people are partaking in the same activities and decision make processes.

The fear of rejection, however, is an entirely different story, which goes back to my first point; people are finding it increasingly harder and harder to tell the people that they want to tell what it is that they are exactly feeling. I’m guessing it’s because in doing so, you’re opening yourself up to that other person; you become incredibly vulnerable. And that’s where movies tend to fail us. They are an incredible story telling medium, but they don’t prepare us for the flipside of these situations. In most romantic comedies, person A and person B are together in the very end. However, that doesn’t necessarily always happen. Two people may not feel the same way towards each other at the same time, so what happens when one person opens up and the other one cannot reciprocate? How are we meant to deal with that? All I’ve seen is a slippery slope of awkward conversations because in the back of their minds, they’re both trying not to let what they say affect the other person, and after sometime, the strangers turned friends and almost lovers, are strangers once again.

And all of this, the fear of rejection and the need to feel validated, stems entirely from the absolute fear of being alone. We’re all so wrapped up in each other’s lives that we don’t take a minute to stop and think about what it is that we’re doing in our own lives. We don’t like being alone with our thoughts, and we drown them out with alcohol, weed, music, or whatever, because we’re so terrified of being honest with ourselves. We’d rather lie to others and say that we’re alright, when we’re not, even if we don’t know why. We don’t like being alone, and we don’t necessarily know how to be alone anymore either.

And that’s what terrifies me; distracting myself from myself.